Tainted Memories

2007-11-22T09:45:00.000+08:00

oh dear, here we go again.

more than i can bear.

2007-10-21T06:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we want things to be different. We think maybe if we pretend that they are; fool people, that its enough.
But it never is.

S04E04; not this time.

2007-10-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You're going to hurt people. You're going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover, there's really only one thing you can say; i forgive you.

Forgive and forget, that's what they say. It's good advise but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds, never heal. And the most we can hope for is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget.

2007-10-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

2007-10-09T02:34:00.000+08:00

Emotions should always be brushed aside when doing something right, no? Well, i should think yes is the universal answer, but then again, what if you cant find it in you to separate these two conflicting elements and you find yourself instead, living with both of them constantly trying to suppress one for the other. Just, what if?

Well, the acting should begin right about now.

S04E02, Is it just the chase?

2007-10-07T06:04:00.000+08:00

We see addiction everyday. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it was just drugs, and booze and ciggarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit, is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often - too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life, at some point cross the line. To obsessive, compulsive. Out of control.

Its the high we're chasing. The high that makes everything else fade away.

The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse.

------------------------------------------

No one voluntarily lives a life of loneliness. It's just a choice. In fact, everyone wants to settle down, no matter how they deny or resist the thought. It's just that "settling down" takes on a different meaning with different people.

For me;
Sure i'll settle down. I've been denying myself of the mere thought of being in a relationship with someone for the past 18years, but looking at it in a different perspective, ofcourse i will someday. Though, with me, waiting for my expectations to be met is key. I want to settle down, knowing that no one else will get hurt in the course of it. I need to know that its what both of us really want. And that, is just the tip of it all cos me and the word "relationship" as you know it, we don't particularly go well together.

So as for now, like how it has always been; i'll be happy knowing that the people i've loved, felt the same way i did.

S04E01, you.

2007-10-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

Change.

We don't like it, we fear it. But we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow old. Anybody who tells you it doesn't, is lying. But here's the truth; Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is everything.

My 11th-10.

2007-09-30T07:00:00.000+08:00

Everyone makes stupid mistakes in their life. Big stupid mistakes. Most, make it without even knowing it; until they're way past it and they look back at those times and have a good laugh at those stupid miserable times.

On the other hand, some of us make these mistakes out of deliberation. To cover up our tracks, to get over a crater in the heart so big, it hurts every single minute, or simply to justify a front that has always been there. A front, that they can't live without. Or so, they think/believe.

I guess people just need to tell repeated lies and repeat the same old mistakes to keep up with whom they've become throughout the years. At a certain point in life, you'll tend to do things that you don't even feel like doing, just to keep up with whom you've become; facade, or not.

And that's the story that some of us exist in. Only to regret day, by day. But thats what we've become. So thats the end of the story. No buts no what ifs, none whatsoever.

It doesn't show.

if only you could understand.

2007-09-23T09:26:00.000+08:00

weluvallofus.

2007-09-19T05:01:00.001+08:00

& that's shona, me, bryan, hoon, daniel, michelle
charmaine, melissa.

just a beautiful lie.

2007-09-13T05:50:00.000+08:00

I can't help but stay at the same page day after day, just hoping for something on it to change. And once in a really long while, it does. Just to display a falsity of that little bit of hope left.

Love was never an easy game.

2007-08-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

Since whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine, my dwarf friend, Daniel Eng Chee Beng, I'm sure you'd love for me to lift off your whole entry and put it on my almost dead blog because its so nice and lovely and heart-fondling. :D

So here it is, taken whole, from theotherbeautiful.blogspot.com
Oh, and big D says that you have to play the video while you read his awesome entry.
___________________________________________________________________

We've all dabbled in love. We've all felt the warmth nuzzle against our cheek, allowed it to drive us into a vacuum of desperation and insanity. We've all been disgustingly romantic, hurt by the smallest cut. We've all let love put ourselves in situations we'd have never expected ourselves to be in.

The only mistake we made was the first in the list - to dabble in love, to allow love to choreograph our lives into a muddled mess.

Love was never our game to excel at. We're so effortlessly incapable of sacrificing a part of ourselves for the sake of love. I thought I was - until I, over and over again, proved myself wrong. I truly believe Allan was the only guy I actually loved, despite everything I said, did or doubted in. I loved him -not despite, but- for everything I irked about him. My only explanation for loving him was the lack of one.

But I couldn't. I loved him, but I just couldn't. I hated having to pretend, having to walk into a game of deception he loosely termed as a 'relationship' with every sanity left in me, having to know the deceit yet not being able to see it.

A week ago, we met. I wanted to know if what I felt about him - the thing I claimed to be love - was capable of giving us another shot at it. He didn't hold back, and before I knew it we were halfway through foreplay. I felt my wrists go limp and my hands were removed from his skin. I looked up to see him looking right into my eyes, as if searching for an explanation for everything - the sudden loss of interest in sex, in him, in love.

"What do you want?" It seemed forceful, coming from a man I always pictured to be gentle and under my thumb. He wanted answers, the ones that I wouldn't give. I could, but I wouldn't.

My only redemption was the fact that I am a selfish and immature 18 year old boy who could give him what he needed to know and break his heart for a second time but instead, I chose deception as a parting gift to what I felt at that point of time - a honestly bad mistake.

*Since you insisted, here goes.

You, alike me and probably millions out there, are a complete wreck inside. Your defence system feeds on a diet of lies to both yourself and the world and that megawatt smile you so easily perform on your face. You are an attractive man. Shoulders straight, posture upright - you boast the self confidence of an ego-pumped superhero.

But that, that could just be your most fatal flaw. You have strung the hearts of innocents who have not a single clue what they were falling for. Your charming exterior threw them offguard - for who'd have expected to find inside the sculpture of illusionized perfection a confused young man, incapable of accepting emotions for their rawness with commitment issues scribbled all over your messy heart.

Perfect shoes, matching outfits, a confident stride and blessed with good hair days - why is that heart of yours such a wreck?

Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh.

2007-08-10T04:53:00.000+08:00

i've been looking at you, sideways.

2007-08-01T04:27:00.000+08:00

if only this attraction; ~~the thing called love~~
can last forever and ever and ever.

everygayone says otherwise.
:(

right.

2007-06-15T07:39:00.000+08:00

hello us.

Weeeeee. Another blog post!
I was just digging the comp for pictures of people and look at the fine treasure i've uncovered! Its enough to make my balls jump for a whole year! Can't you sense the endless tone of excitement in my voice? Yeah! That only happens when your life is all so rAwKin' man! Awwwww.

................

an update nonetheless.

2007-05-27T20:41:00.000+08:00

; a year from now, then.

Grey's Anatomy, is love.

2007-04-25T02:27:00.000+08:00

I'm awake, usually, mostly at night. I'm usually, mostly, on the computer, doodling. And i thought my life could have been, with more meaning in it. Like you know, always have somewhere to go, things to do. Busy; albeit fun? But no. Reality has to be unkind. Like how everyone who hangs out with a reza, gets a reza thrown at them, acting all smiley and all but actually, reza likes to fuck people without them knowing? But of course, a reza doesnt usually mean it when he fucks people up. He might be slightly(or not.) irritated, (or not.) but thats just it. You know?

John Donne. He had an opinion on "being alone". He thought we weren't ever alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to fuck around with or watch a movie with, or just hang out.

Someone to ask; to know. Even if you dont tell them.

There are, for a few; just a few, with whom, i really absolutely treasure the friendship i have. Chey chey chey, all emo sialll. But seriously! You know? Like how, i can only go to one, two, people with something like, "Shit, our friend is such a bitch, but i'd rather she not know. And oh by the way, i have testiculous conjunctivitis, and thats a secret". But at the same time, to the other seventy seven people i'll be like, "HAHAHA! Ohmygod, that green lump in a trench coat over there, coming down the stairs looks retarded!", or something like that...

Get it?

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. Unless of course, they choose to cross the line whereby we can't see them for who they were to us before.

No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with us at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, can be exactly what we need.

2007-04-19T05:45:00.000+08:00

for the lack of updates,
the following link shall suffice; for now.

The combined photographic efforts of the 15 of us who went over to Perth for an exchange programme thing with the University of Western Australia. A little warning tho, the linked site is extremely image heavy. :D enjoy.

<An estimated 200+ PERTH PICTURES>

12, first.

2007-04-10T13:51:00.000+08:00

Communications And Media Management

2007-03-03T05:03:00.000+08:00

It has been work, sleep, more work, much more sleep, going out late nights, and more sleep this past few weeks. As you should know, my coursemates and i have been on holiday wayy earlier than the other courses. Our holidays began just before the study week started. So yeah. Study week and then the exam week apparently weren't for us just because. Hahaha.

Well, we only had one dumbass test for media management principles on our last day of school and that was it. Of course, we had a mini celebration at fish&co. and at georges as well after. Thats the day i lost my bloody *&%#*$ la. Fuckin hell. But anyways, the celebration-ish thing we had was nice. At least there was an ending to the terrible, albeit fun, year of being a poly freshman. Wait, make that a CMM freshman.

Of course i've learnt loads throughout the year. Like how, Persuasive Communication with Darryl David isnt as fun as I thought it'd be. And how Media Management Principles is a fucking pain in the ass online module (it'd be better if it was a normal, in-class kind of thing instead of being an e-module cos no one has the discipline to do the online forums and shit). Photography, Essential Graphics, Graphic Design Fundamentals, all these are related in a way. Like how you need the photoshop skills for the last photog project, etc.

And seriously, my sem 1.2 timetable was the bomb okay. 3 of the 5 weekdays are spent at home or out doing stupid stuff. We only had school (tutorials) on thursdays and fridays. That's because most of us didnt bother to attend our one lecture per day mondays-wednesdays lah. Journalism on monday was just a hurdle for us, to wake up in the early morning for a lecturer who reads from the presentation slides. Tuesday was a chore, having to be in formal attire every single lecture (and tutorial) for Peruasive Communication. Photography on wednesdays are just, better off without the in-lecture textbook-reading-aloud-sessions.

On the other hand though, the friends, the people i've met in CMM are love. I could ask for a better bunch of people to be with in the same course/year, but the experience wouldn't have been the same, you know? Like how Shona says it, "I love you my bitches!"

Next up, we have the exchange programme with the University of Western Australia which is in Perth. Gonna be there with 14 other coursemates of mine for 3 weeks (2wks without lecturer supervision mind you). Around half of the people coming from my class, you can imagine the havoc thats gonna unfold and how Shona's gonna sit on someone, Hoon's gonna get killed, Jac's gonna bite someone's head off, etc.

The week after next, pre-trip lectures are gonna start leading up to the day we fly off on March 18th at like 7 in the morning or something. And we'll be flying SQ! How nice.. :D

Okay okay, so whats with the whole novel of a post, right? Well, when i first stepped into poly, i didnt know what to expect for the first year of being a media student in TP. So, i went out of my way to search for the blogs of the other CMM students just to find out stuff...

Stalker,
Yes i know. But yeah.. So, i end the first year by helping others like me, who'll be looking for personal experiences of their seniors/coursemates on how and what exactly CMM will be like.

HAHAHAHA.
rightttttt.

lets all wish for yummy juniors now shall we?

the wonders of photoshop.

2007-02-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

+PLUS+

AND YOU GET THIS :D

not everyone's perfect, certainly not me and you :)

2007-01-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

Now, i remember why i even started a blog in the first place. For all the times that i don't feel like talking, and all the other times chatting just seems to be to much of a chore, there's always the blog, thank God. Plus, i'v never really liked to talk about a problem or whatever directly to another person. So yes..

You've said things that not any of my closest friends have ever even thought of saying even if a fucking bomb came in between us. Never.

And i bet everyone would agree that if someone have had to make like supposedly so so so so many fucking sacrifices for a friendship and end up being unhappy about it, then the person should just probably take time off from that thing he/she calls a friendship, right? Sure......

I mean, add your hypersensitvity, with the follow-up moodswings, together with the occasionally fucked up attitude that you give with your moodswings, and all the shit you say despite calling me your closefriend or whatever it is i am to you - all just because your spidey sensitive senses came to life and gave you the "oh-he-doesnt-care-just-because-he's-talking-more-to-another-close-friend-of-mine" sensations all over; its still not you who's mr satan i-dont-give-a-fuck-about-my-friend-when-i'm-with-other-fun-people right?

so fuck sensitive people,
you guys deserve to suck on some big momma boobs. :)

Here's a huge (and i swear i'm being sincere) I AM SO SORRY to you for making you sacrifice a whole everest worth of stuff to be in a friendship with mr satan right here; but of course friendships are made of compromises which arent normally voiced out, but in this case, heh. since you didnt tell me directly, how you've brought everest to singapore just for me.. Sorry lah okay! Must have been heavy.

and ps: No one has any right to be offended nor to get angry from whatever i just typed here. No one at all.

Right.
There, i'm ready to talk now, so try me!
Anyone?

the art of secrets.

2006-12-27T04:16:00.000+08:00

I am in a very post secret-ish mood and it doesnt help that it clashes with my listen to chill out songs mood. And Hady Mirza actually has a nice track from his album (my sister bought it okay!).

I dont know what the title is but its the song right after Ordinary People (Take It Slow), but the thing is, both songs are on the same track which is track no. 12 but its not the same song! Ohwells.

Okay its post secret time!

And time
All that I need is time
In making sure this heart of mine
Never again get out of line

I wish to thank you for the lessons that I have learnt
But there's just nothing I can give in return

Slut.

2006-12-25T04:23:00.000+08:00

Oh red star tattoo, i think you are very sexed up. You turn me on like no one can.
Now now, dont go shooting yourself away..

I think kissing is fun. Is it? Yes it is! Right? Hmmmmm.
I've decided.
When school re-opens, i'm gonna kiss someone.

Volunteers, anyone?
heh. :/

i've got skills in the backroom.

2006-12-23T03:55:00.000+08:00

i am so sexcited.

From tomorrow onwards, i'll stay at home much much more. Simply because, movies@home have never gotten any better for me! Its gonna be something bigggg. It was kind of too big for my liking when i first saw it but ohwell, it'll help my blind friends see clearer. hohoho! Allah bless my family, yo! God loves me. Still, okay!

So, now i'm trying to figure out and schedule my time. What movies to watch, when to hog the new tv, when the longlostmissshikinandlovelies are coming with popcorn and food, etc etc etc.

And from now on, i'll never ever sleep in the mrt with my ipod on ever ever again! Its soo blarghh to be sleeping like all those times i did! I swear the whole cabin was looking at me nod, nod further, and jerk back up to life! Very sungguh unglam.

Instead, i'll just watch queer as folk or grey's anatomy or heroes on the way back! HAHAHA. I am so in love. Thank you dear sister for your ever lasting generosity. How can i not love you like from here to the moon and back and all the way around the milky way? Hmmmmm....

So i put the hardcover on to protect my ipod, and now i realise that, it can't fit into the ipod speaker dock. So i try with all my might to remove the hard casing but nooooooooooooooooo. Its like as if its glued on together or something. I always screw something up with new things. Its like a bad bad....errrr....karma kind of thing.

SLUT.

And yes shikin, i update both of them, periodically.

right back where we started.

2006-12-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

listening to Let Go by Imogen Heap together with My Humps by B.E.P is seriously crazy. its making me as crazy as a crazy person who's crazy and emotional all at the same time. and you know how crazy and emo arent really big fans of each other. and now So Sick by Ne-Yo is on mtv. how very nice of them to play such songs on a cool and rainy thursday afternoon. sometimes, just like jac, i wonder how i can survive with all these emotional stunts i pull. well, actually they're more of dives la. but stunts will suffice for now. so sick of loves songs, so tired of tears. ohmygodlafuck. is it just me or are the people over at mtv being oh-i-am-so-emo today!? they're playing sad songs like as if no one's gonna kill themselves after this whole emo stretch. oh, and if you've noticed, my 'emo' songs arent all that emo. but well, they're sad incurring. ohsomeonepleaseunderstandme. i still remember those times when a whole group of us were addicted to Seven Years by Saosin. i miss those times. and maybe there's a reason why my seduction style is the 'tantric master'. for an online quiz thing, its actually quite accurate. i seriously still do believe in __ despite all my cacatness and uglyness and hahahaha. Me&You by Cassie is on right now and i feel like having sex with her and stoning and dancing all at the same time. how now?

ohwell,
i'll stuff all these inside where no one can see/know/get to.
its what i've always done anyways.

occupation:matchmaker

2006-12-21T04:50:00.000+08:00

hah. like totally zomgggg.
friday lah please.

i promise to hide under an umbrella
and disappear under it if i'm going to town, yo!

eragon neng!?
and i've got super melting hot news for you about :)

and now its back to singing:
nobody loves me, everybody hates me.
come on people!

the time will come.

2006-12-19T05:10:00.001+08:00

i wanna fade out and die off slowly.
nownownownownownownow.

anyways,
i am so fuckingly excited about tp-uwa perth exchange programme!

three fucking weeks of freeeeeedom,
or not.

i have a feeling that,
i'm gonna sleep (or force them to agree to it) with bryan and hoon,
then with shona, and then, with buffseeds and zx,
and last of all, jaclyn roberts!
everyone gets a night with me each.

sorry neng,
none for you cos you have some other things you should deal with first.
HAHAHAHA.

but,
i have a feeling that, people will get killed during the trip.

Who Ever, will ever be in the right state of mind to put
Reza Bryan Hoon Shona
together for 3freaking weeks in a foreign land!?
WHO!!

But i guess it'll all be good la.
i have to work. i neeeeeeed the $.

anyone wanna hire me? anyone?
i'm quite talented with anything that moves.
:D

ohmylevistragedy.

2006-12-14T02:11:00.001+08:00

why is it so fucking hard to find ONE person?!
omfg. its getting on my nerves.

WHY!?!

if only i had a few more balls
to spare me some confidence.

UGLY!

what if(s)

2006-12-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

So what; if i kind of like how you look?
So what; if i kind of think you're cute?
So what; if i really want to get to know you?

And
So what; if i really kind of like you?

its not like you'd know anyway.
cos i'm me.

2006-12-11T03:57:00.000+08:00

ZOMGGG.
i missed another online quiz!!

this is fucking troublesome.
if i had an aladin lamp thing,
i'll wish for a new face, a new everything else,
eeeeeeeeeeeeee-dipee, and last of all, for e-modules to fuck off.

EDP! EDP! EDP! EDP! EDP! EDP! smittened

2006-12-05T03:27:00.000+08:00

oh god.

let me see.
days that theres a high possibility of stalking includes
mon, wed, thurs, fri.

but i never do get anything from these days!
how ugly i am!
tsk.

and smitten-ed looks should just seriously die.
you know, like fuck off from my face.

the last thing i need is a stupid smitten-ed face.
oh, the horror!
i can just imagine it.

what the hell is that ugly boy up to with that face??

i swear upon boh eng's life,
everyone whom i think is good looking,
who passes by me,
will think i'm a freak.

oh wait.
except for the girls.

&

i'll post pictures soon.
stupid freaking photography,
digital has been banned.
its film all the way!

which means that i cant post pictures here
unless i scan in my stupid shots.

of which,
i do have two rolls of a fashion show.
which includes a portrait of a super freaking gdlooking model. :)

&
(advert to help hirzi out)

Audition for Substitute Best Friend

Calling all students who need a friend during the holidays.

We are auditioning you for the next reality sequel, My Next Top Best Friend.
All are welcomed, to substitute as a best friend for a boy, Hirzi, during the absence of his current bestfriend who will be leaving for India.

Casting begins Now till the 17th of December.
Interested candidates are required to send in a letter of interest/resume through email either to idol89@hotmail.com or freez_7@hotmail.com.
Please do attach a front profile photo of yourself along with your document.

Thank You.

2006-11-30T05:04:00.000+08:00

oh.
and i think i'll have another new favourite show soooon enough.

girls out loud on ch5.
monday at 10.
starting 4th december.

fucking hot la. :/

runaway by electrico

2006-11-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

3:58
a few people.
one untouchable person.

soft focus.
white and browns.

doing some shit with a group.
dont know what happened.

went over.
once.

eh! hahaha! fuck you la! fuck off.

twice.
stared.

pushed over.
.. owaes hike eww.

fuck. fuck it.
... mmmi 2.

*chokes to partial death limit*

2006-11-26T04:33:00.000+08:00

First of all,

A VERY HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY
to my dearest most gorgeous red hot flame,

Hana(noneh)Halim binte Suke Mi.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I need things.
Major Needs.

for those who love me enough,
here's a list.

1. A New Face
2. New ShoeS
3. David&Goliath Tshirts in XS
(but since they dont have those in that size, S will suffice.)
4. 18-70mm/18-135mm Nikon Lens for my camera. ***** (MOST WANTED)

photog.photog.photog.photog.photog.

2006-11-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

After four days of mind wrecking night-time stuations
where the unavailability of tripods proved to be a big big BIG
PROBLEM
it finally ended off. with a disturbing twist.

dear father happily said something like
"oh! you didnt ask what!"
"common sense that all photographers have tripods"
"etc.etc.etc.etc."

what irritatingness.

and today,
will be rushing day to everywhereeee!

to shoot,
develop films,
mount,
etc.

and the worst part of all,
just as i've sinned a few hours before,

a nice family car came by while me&neng were walking,
with a very very very eye catching decal which said,
ALLAH LOVES YOU.

i nearly died.
its a sign.

lips.love.lies.lust

2006-11-16T03:14:00.000+08:00

around 990mins.
22 episodes.
fucking great season ending.

i think it was damnnnnn good while it lasted.
not for homophobics though. but seriously,
it was fuckin damn damn damn excellent la.

i swear its better than the L word at least.

i cant wait to watch the freaking next season,
oh kind souls, any of you. pleaaaaaaaaaaase.
i'm begging okay!
hahaha.

Queer As Folk.

its a must watch.

forget what we're told,
before we get too old;
would you lie with me
and just forget the world.

if you're smart, its not what it seems to be.

2006-11-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

i never get the right outcome.
i never force myself to say things that would help get what i want.
i never told _________.
i still havent.
i dont think _________ knows at all.
i reckon he did.
i think its all in the past now.
i bet i still wont let _________ know anything at all now that he's back. again.

i ___ _______ you.

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall,

When you float like a canonball.

and i started going back to where i've been before.

2006-11-09T01:41:00.000+08:00

you know,
some things just happen in life,
that you cant help but just watch it as it passes by.

and people will say,
i know how you feel, dont be sad, etc etc etc.

well.
you wont actually know how it really feels,
till it happenes to someone you love,
someone you really cared about.

and i cant say that i really know how it feels,
but i'm feeling it sort of,
especially now.

i'd never want to be in the shoes of my uncle or aunt,
let alone my cousin.

god, save him.

me.

2006-11-08T16:32:00.000+08:00

i can tell you're in denial.

the only lie i told you;
thats not the only lie i told you,

I stopped trying to write the things I don't like
And I started going back to where I'd been before

But I'm not the only guy I know that;
I'm not the only guy I know that,

you never noticed.

i dont know me.

2006-10-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

listening to over a hundred songs per day is seriously no joke.
hahaha. thats funny.
seriously no joke.
how redundant of the two combined...

well anyways.
my jobscope is to enjoy the music.
stand at just one spot.
and talk to the person who wishes to enjoy his/her time
at hmv listening to either justin timberlake, fergie, or Xtina.
i just have to talk about the product, and pretend the customer
is even giving a goddamn percent of attention to me and thats it!

back to listening to the great songs they play there.

its a routine.
heeren. 12-9. walk around, laugh, irritate, chat, go home.
just that tmrw, i have birthday@dxo to think about attending.
or the birthday party where supposedly hot guys will go for.
thats according to chairman mao.

ahh... life's a bliss.

hide and seek

2006-10-19T07:47:00.000+08:00

ohmygod.
what is their fucking problem?!

WHERE ARE OUR TIMETABLES?!?!?
knnbccb.

there's so many things i like about you

2006-10-13T05:30:00.000+08:00

i like the way you look at me with those beautiful eyes
i like the way you act all surprised
i like the way you sing along
i like the way you always get it wrong
i like the way you clap your hands
i like the way you love to dance
i like the way you put your hands up in the air
i like the way you shake your hair
i like the way you like to touch
i like the way you stare so much

but most of all,
.................................................................................................

The first 3 days of my trip. Alone!

2006-10-10T11:52:00.000+08:00

@ Istanbul
the freaking huge fries. its the same size as a large coke!

@ Nice, France

the yatchs that i was on were the two biggest ones in the port!

turn back time, let us start over. please?

2006-09-30T04:10:00.000+08:00

i still remember vividly the times how you used to cheer me up.
no matter how busy you were and if i were to give you a call,
you'd make sure you were there for me - all the time.

i complained of the times we didnt get to stay out together
and i sure as hell got agitated when we didnt,
silly and impossible it sounds.

but i guess,
thats what i needed from someone i hold so dearly in my heart.

someone once told me
love isnt about being with the person you love 24/7
but it is about being contended as long your loved one is happy.
spending time with each other sure enhances feelings.

but then again,
how much can our physical being beat what lies buried
beneath the one sole organ thats probably the only reason
why we humans get to live.

it reminds us that we're no more than just creatures who age
as time passes and eventually die.

we're definitely not machines with no feelings,
nor mutants with supernatural power.

we're merely what we call humans.

the weakness we posses,
that never fails to disappoint those around us.
the fears that resides in us,
that never fails to keep us ashore.

and the tears filled with genuine feelings,
that never fails to fall when you lose someone special.

i miss the kisses, i miss the hugs.
i miss everything that can now only be
a figment of a distant memory.

i remember how you tried to give in to me when i was angry
and you felt you never seem to succeed.
but thinking about it now,
deep down, i'm taken aback - completely.

i really loved those times.
sadly it never seems to last.

it all came hitting back to me just now
when i read some things that made me think
maybe, i'm just not good enough.
and you deserve someone better,
much better then what i've been to you.

if we could even last one year
without talking behind each other's back
and just confronting each other
when there's things we dont see eye to eye
or when you think i'm dead set on something
but you dont really know what i actually think,

i'd be the happiest random freak of a guy ever.

nevertheless,
i guess i'm pretty much over the fact
of not being able to have what i want.
then again, no one said it was illegal to have fantasies.

and once im done fantasizing,
i'll be back to my old and boring lifestyle.

cos neither do i want back the same mistakes i made.
its all driving me up the wall.
everything.
i feel i am already ceasing to exist.

i've always felt happy for you
and i will always be as long as you are happy.

for now i can only watch from afar as a great deal of things
go on in your life.
things that you wouldnt want me to know for sure.
i wish you'd find out how i actually feel one of these days.
and i really do want to know what's happening at your side.

i'm just a fool for another day.
that will always be me.
stirring up troubles for/with anyone i know.

but at least i do know how my heart feels.
i realised how much i love you.
till the extent more than words and physical presence itself can even describe.

who knows, an angel could be near.
time will tell.

gay boys on irc.

2006-09-17T13:54:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahahaha
omg omg omg omg omg
you have no idea how bored i am!!

so so so so so bored,
that i'm on a secret journey to find closet **** whom i'd know,
by placing myself on the line,
well. make that my image and my pride and whatever shit like that.

irc is such a world of anonymity.
hahahaha. until you go to like some weird chat rooms
where strangers meet strangers for like weird services or smthg
and on my quest in irc,
i think i fucking found someone who knows me!!

fucking asshole.
shit.
i shouldnt have used my own pic ah??
or wait. i shouldnt have revealed my pic first!!
!#%#!KNNBCB!#%#!
tsk... smart la reza....

and now that bloody bugger thinks he's the smart one
and i'm the bloody fag!
urgh!!!!

i hate it when i lose.
CB!

council meeting in an hour! @10am. :/

2006-09-12T08:54:00.000+08:00

when you're bored out of your mind,
you tend to facilitate stuff that you've wanted to do
but haven't had the chance to.

or,
you're just fucking bored with nothing to do.
so you(me) did this :)

just to entertain myself fyi.
nothing more to it.
i swear!

the lip(s) problem.

2006-09-11T04:22:00.000+08:00

i have a thing for a certain kind of lips
hahaha.

its hard to explain really
but i do,
and thats a problem right there.

anyways, similarly to asri
i dont think i'll find someone or anyone
whom i'll get together with anytime soon seriously.

its really not a need for me to find that special someone but,
you know...
sometimes you just think of such stuff and it makes you wonder

and your mind wanders off,
thinking of things you dont normally think of.

so yup!
don't worry asri, we'll be bachelors for life!
hahahahahaha.

you'll do the singing and i'll do the dancing
and we'll be Famous&totallyWanted that way!
hah!

what are relationships made of anyway?
pffffffffft.

life? what life?

2006-09-11T01:35:00.000+08:00

you know your life's turned upside down when,

- you have no financial assistance
- you're in dire need of money
- you sleep from 8 in the morning to 6 in the afternoon
- your life starts in the evening and ends in the early morning
- you're not working
- you barely have company
- you wake up just to eat, go online, watch teevee, only to fall back asleep again
- everyone else is trying to find work while you laze around in your room
- your parents go out more than you, even if it's just to go swimming
- you fall asleep almost everywhere at home. the toilet, the living room, etc.
- you scour around the house looking for food at 5am
- you've been converted to a very homely person when you're actually not at all
- you havent yawned once when its already 6inthemorning.

thats me right now :)

money money money

2006-09-10T04:40:00.000+08:00

ohmygod...
its not even half a month yet and,
i've already used up my allowance!!
*waves frantically at the sister*

the holiday period is the worst time to save up
simply because i keep spending
and thats because its boring to just sit at home
and the "calling" to just go out and have fun is just too great!

i neeeeeeeeeeed financial assistance right this second.
---------------------------------

people watching is the sex.
i seriously cannot stop myself from doing it.

then again,
its quite fun to have someone to do it with you!

and my dearest apprentice,
charmaine leow nenghui,
you still have got a loooong way to go with that gaydar of yours.
hahahahahahahaahahahahaha

momo on thursday was fun+crazy+disasterous
all mixed well and served warm.
thanks to ff who made the night revolve around him.

but i like that company,
nic, nat, neng(char), and me.
its quite enjoyable.

and movie with them just now was fun too.

so i decided to be smart and take the NR7
just because i felt like a long bus ride home.
just because.

in the bus,
i was sitting beside weirdly dressed emo/punkrock (cheena version) couple
and they were wearing those spiky cuffs and had piercings all over.
of all kinds of people to see at 3 in the morning.
and thats not the weird part!

they started talking about gayboys trying to be goth,
about some local band gossips,
and because the bloody bus went on a worldtour before reaching pasir ris
they had the time of their lives talking and laughing at stupid things

and when the bus was at tampines,
they started talking about vampires!
i was like... wtf?!

luckily the sister called all the way from france,
and she entertained me over the phone for abit
cos i might be going over there next weeek courtesy of dear darling sister!!
hahahahaha.

but if i'm going, i'll be flying alone!
pfft.

and and and,
with that money,
i can buy like a hellll load of clothes and stuff!
fffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

ATTN: ROZALEEN RAHMAN

2006-09-09T05:05:00.000+08:00

to my dearest dearest sister,
wherever you are.. italy or france or egypt,
i'm finally done with your blog!

so,
happy typing away all the stuff you do wherever you are
for the family's reading pleasure!

i love you! :D

and by the way. if you forgot your blog address,
its HERE okay.

i love krunk :)

2006-09-03T02:35:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry you guys have to be subjected
to my face in this beautful post.
but bear with it.
hahaha.
there's beautful people in those pics..

pics from xoxocharms

KRUNK

me and my ffacebff/colleague :)

anthea.aaron.ffbff.

jill.charm.insignificantguy.anthea

i love the security friends of mine.

us with master/sensei khor

i love these work group/colleagues/friends :) of mine too!

japboy :)

she forced me to be her lover. so i am. :/

tmrw is detoxification day,
sleep sleep sleep sleep.
cos monday, is THE day.

photoshoot from 8 to 5.
hah, and thats if everything's done on schedule.

to my dearest BEAUTFUL friends

2006-09-02T08:25:00.000+08:00

i have invites for SEVENTEEN's Annual Birthday Bash!!!!
(as in the magazine seventeen?)

Happening this coming tuesday 7-10pm @ Zouk.
Expected to dress in a "Punk Rock Style"
minimum age entry is 16
but its only for people with invites.

Each invite admits two.
soooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

give me a ringadingding if you're hot and interested
and i'll see how ;)

krrrrrrr unk.

2006-09-01T08:28:00.000+08:00

yesterday was plain love.
seeing everyone back together
just like how it used to be.

pure love.
:))))))))))))

even though i slept quite abit.
heh.

so today....
is gonna be exciting.

4pm to 6am
of people watching people partying @ sentosa!
its gonna be dead wonderfully tiring and superbly fun!!!
i can not wa it!

a dslr is in place hopefully right charmaine?!
if the pay is fulfilling. hahahaha.

we just have tooooo many ~~wants~~needs
for our very own good.

LETS DANCE OUR NIGHT AWAY @ SENTOSA :D

2006-08-27T15:24:00.000+08:00

CALL/RING/TAG/SHOUT/SEDUCE

Pick anyone of those and get it done to/with ME ME ME
to know more details about this 1/2 flea market and 1/2 dance party event!!

and to buy the tickets of course!

2006-08-26T07:10:00.000+08:00

2006-08-23T05:05:00.000+08:00

`*+ twistedementia. ][ enjoy the taste i leave in your mouth. -ME
charms ; watch the sunrise, say your goodbyes. -CHARMAINE

4:58:07 AM
i have a feeling that i'm a good kisser.

4:58:24 AM
hahahaa.

4:58:34 AM
is that a sudden thought/feeeling ?

4:58:46 AM
haha. so how come you say you're a good kisser?

4:58:53 AM
i dont know

4:58:58 AM
i just have the feeling

4:59:13 AM
haha.

4:59:34 AM
we'll have to wait for ur future gf/bf's review on that !

4:59:49 AM
k la. not bad, maybe you have kissable lips

5:00:02 AM
nah. i can just kiss some person

5:00:17 AM
har ?

5:00:26 AM
you can jus kiss some person ?

5:01:00 AM
some person who's in need

5:01:42 AM
so you'll jus kiss any random person who needs one ?

5:01:43 AM
ha

5:02:56 AM
depends on how they look

5:03:32 AM
hahaha.

5:03:45 AM
well well wont they be lucky thens

5:03:46 AM
haha

5:04:05 AM
hahahaha

5:04:08 AM
of course

5:04:09 AM
omg

5:04:10 AM
-> "4:59:49 AM nenghui@hotmail.com: k la. not bad, maybe you have kissable lips"

5:04:14 AM
i just read that

5:04:15 AM
what?

5:04:17 AM
?!

5:04:23 AM
maybe i have kissable lips?!

5:04:23 AM
haha you did ? hahaha

5:04:32 AM
everyones lips are kissable you bimbo

5:04:36 AM
hahaha

5:04:55 AM
NO. i believe that there are some who has more kissable lips than others

5:05:09 AM
some can be quite :/

5:05:11 AM
hahaha

5:05:49 AM
are you serious?!

5:06:04 AM
yah im serious.

5:06:08 AM
hahaa

5:06:48 AM
my friends and i have talked abt this before

5:06:48 AM
ahhaa

5:06:57 AM
guys with thin lips ? not very kissable.

5:07:04 AM
REALLY?!

5:07:33 AM
i thought thin lips makes some guys nicer looking

5:07:41 AM
imagine having saggy lumps of lips

5:07:55 AM
yea nice looking, but not kissable

5:08:04 AM
NOT SAGGY lumps of lips.

5:08:11 AM
haha

5:08:30 AM
nice looking but not kissable?

5:08:41 AM
but surveys have shown that thin lips are not very kissable.

5:08:52 AM
haha the survey that we did.

5:08:53 AM
hahaa

5:09:00 AM
would you rather nice looking but not kissable or ugly looking but kissable?

5:09:44 AM
OH MY GOD.

5:09:49 AM
that is reallly a tough one.

5:09:55 AM
define ugly kips tho

5:09:57 AM
hahah

5:09:59 AM
lips*

5:10:11 AM
i dont know....

5:10:29 AM
i think.....

5:10:37 AM
maybe someone who calls french toasts their lips?

5:10:42 AM
i wld go for... ugly but kissable.

5:10:53 AM
im sure lips CANT GO THAT WRONG

5:10:54 AM
haha.

5:10:57 AM
oh god. are you SERIOUS?!

5:11:14 AM
yes im serious ! ive thought hard.

5:11:15 AM
ugly but kissable?!

5:11:26 AM
how ugly can someone's lips get !

5:11:43 AM
very?

5:12:02 AM
WELL i havent seen any guys lips THAT horrible lookin.

5:12:08 AM
so i'd go w the 2nd choice

5:12:14 AM
you

5:12:15 AM
?

5:12:23 AM
prolly go w the 1st from ur reaction

5:13:24 AM
well i guessssssssss..

5:13:32 AM
maybe it depends on the other half ?

5:13:44 AM
like... a thin lip girl and a thin lip guy ?

5:13:51 AM
-thinks...

5:13:52 AM
what depends on the other half?

5:13:58 AM
noooooo

5:14:08 AM
i'm not thin lipped

5:14:21 AM
hahaa. im not talkin abt you !

5:14:25 AM
im jus stating an example

5:14:31 AM
so what am i?

5:14:36 AM
and yes you're not thin lipped.

5:14:57 AM
since maybe, i have kissable lips

5:15:14 AM
haha.

5:15:17 AM
-nods.

5:15:22 AM
maybe.

5:15:29 AM
hoho

5:15:33 AM
so what kind of lips do i have?!

5:15:43 AM
thin? french toasted?

5:16:54 AM
mm

5:16:58 AM
middleish

5:17:26 AM
i think

5:17:28 AM
haha

5:20:26 AM
middleish?!

5:20:30 AM
wtf is that?

5:21:00 AM
like...

5:21:04 AM
it isnt too thin

5:21:10 AM
and its not too thick

5:21:11 AM
haha

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

its amazing how we can stand each other 24/7.
we have been seeing each other almost every single day
for the past 2-3months?

and yet,
we can still find topics to talk about in the middle of the early morning.
albeit, stupid ones..
but still.....
we dont ever run out of things to talk about

and that, i think,
is an achievement.

it takes alot to be my friend.
my close close friend. hahaha.
it really does.

2006-08-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

i love you :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

brighteners (:

2006-08-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

i love my friends :)
oh. and please do ignore the last 2 seconds of the video. its not what it looks like.
seriously!

oh!
and me, shona and jac had this super cool video chat yesterday
and we were all naked until shona's mom saw part of our conference
then we had to scramble to put our clothes back on.
HAHAHAHAHA.

see how retarded we can get sometimes?
but i still like it anyway.
i really hope we/our class wont get seperated next sem.

Senzaki-San

2006-08-18T11:04:00.000+08:00

ripped from xoxocharms
get the full story there :)

the dust has only just begun to fall

2006-08-12T02:18:00.000+08:00

oil and marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the take over,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

firstly,
sorry shikin and farhana cos i couldnt come just now.
next time, please include me in any of your plannings
before you guys actually decide to go somewhere okay?
instead of just telling me like after the whole event is set,
and shit like that.
i really need time out. with you guys.

school's becoming a bitchydamnedprincess.
what with all the fuck that's happened, getting kicked out of class,
and a possible debarment from exams.

its not as if i want to come late every friday right?
you people just didnt have the courtesy to plan your timetables to
like fit in friday prayers for the muslim guys in cmm.

fucking fun fact of the day
every friday after prayers, if i come to class later than 2.15,
(class starts at 2pm on the dot.)
i'm marked as absent. even if friday prayers end late.

you took it wrongly. really.
and i'm trying my best to make the best out of things.
but sometimes,
it gets hard when i dont know anything that happens anymore.
and it doesnt help at all that its like that.
but its not like i knew everything in the first place.
i wish everything was like before...just make it better,

please.

2006-08-10T07:18:00.000+08:00

i'm oh so bored.
despite it being like 6.35am.

i just cant sleep.
and weird songs are getting back into my "favourites" playlist.
from *Nsync to Craig David to Damien Rice to Rob Thomas to Natasha Beddingfield
to Daniel Beddingfield and.... you get the picture.

speaking of pictures.
hahahahahahahahaha.
here's some.

the secret garden of eden

i love my class(mates),
i lovvvvee my medsoc group :)

look at the clouds from that window!
i fucking swear thats real...

when it becomes just for the sake of it.

2006-08-09T08:59:00.000+08:00

everyone's becoming better looking as they grow up..
saw charissa yesterday and she's like some pretty fucktard.
the usual... its been a long time since we saw each other eh?

anyways,
today i shall do my photoshoot thingy for the poster and advertorial
and printing must/should be done tmrw
so mr bitchfit wouldnt like kick us out of class for the second time
and that would mean editing and all that shit tonight.

but,
there's fireworks tonight as well.

hahaha.
what a dilemma of the century.
fucktard.

---------------------------------------------

i think people, even the best of friends
change when they get close to someone else.
just a thought, an opinion.

and the title "bestfriend", is so subjective.
i'm starting to hate it.

also!
i've been having speech problems..
really bad ones.

like saying me thoo instead of me too.
and mush instead of must.
and i forgot the one on anonymous.

here's some entertainment though.
its more of a whole war actually... so yah.
taken from xoxocharms

the fight. one

the fight. two

the fight. three

oh! speaking of randomness...

i had a dream
with danilah in it.

hahaha.
how nice.

2006-08-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

school's taking a toll on me.
i'm turning miserable every single day now.
tons of projects, assignments, advertorials, posters, newsletters, . . .
you name it. i'm fucking doing it.

marketing presentation's coming soon.
3slides, 20 minutes, loads of stress.
and surprsie surprise.

fucker always have to ruin my days.
lauly....here i come!

anyways.
newsfuckingletter's due tmrw and i'm supposed to edit all the pictures.
1 whole night of staying up and 1hour of sleep in 2 days is like a norm now.
i had fun with char and shona at her house yesterday though.
macs in the middle of the morn and all that shit.

and neng,
i feel like bleaching their brains right now.
they are fucking stupid.
that bloody fuck should just get like kicked out of school or something
so no one can ever ever get to see him ever again.

plus, its depressing to see people from different courses
gathering in their very own big cca groups
hanging out together while at the bus stop and stuff.

cos i can't be apart of that socialising thingy
cos theres work and work and more work to do.

the alleged lover.

2006-08-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

hah! :)

Krunk!

2006-08-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

any of you interested or wanna know more about this party/flea market,
just tag that board over there :)

you're my complete and total adoration.

2006-07-27T03:24:00.000+08:00

--------------------------------------------------------

you're possibly the sweetest so far
but i dont know if things might go your way.
and if they do
then be prepared for a rollercoaster ride.
:)

a day in our lives.

2006-07-25T08:59:00.001+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Rachel!

i bet you didnt expect the surprise!
hahaha :)

is it any wonder

2006-07-21T02:21:00.000+08:00

after much hesitation. i have decided toooooo........................

nothing else beats a public apology.
on the world wide web summore okay.
NOTHING.

So, here is an italicized, bold red Sincere Apology
for anything that i've ever done wrong.

firstly to "d guy that approached u..."
and then to all my friends,
family,
and teachers.

I AM SORRY

:)

now i challenge anyone who dares to lower their ego like that
in the name of strengthening social ties in the
goodwill of the heart for the society.

heh.

i dont want to start over again

2006-07-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

i really really dont know what to feel anymore.
or what i'm feeling right now.
really.

--

everyone's like so depressed with their own
"days of our lives" episodes right now.
everyone i hang out with at least.
it seems like it.

i just wish everyone would be more open.
open open open open.
so at least i wouldnt be left in the dark.
heh.

a sudden obsession

2006-07-12T02:34:00.000+08:00

oh oh oh oh oh.
its not about ***emoboy charmaine.

i have a sudden obession with emofuckglymo blog entries.
together with papillon by secret garden..
god.

______________________________________________________________________

i've been kaypoh-ing around people's blogs
and i found this entry...

sure, i did tell myself many tiems not to look back and move on, leave the past behind.
however, i cant help but ponder over the fact how perfect my life was then, reminiscing
about all the good times i once had, the good times we once shared and the many, many
different experiences that somehow just felt right whenever im with you.

i still remember vividly the times how i used to cheer you up. no matter how busy i was
and if you were to give me a call, id make sure i was there for you - all the time. the little
smiles i received from you just easily made my day. i didnt complain of the times we
didnt get to stay out together nor did i complain about the times when you didnt feed me
and only ate your portion. silly and impossible it sounds.

but i guess, thats probably what love is really all about.

someone once told me love isnt being with the person you love 24/7 but being contended
as long your loved one is happy. spending time with each other sure enhances feelings,
but then again, how much can our physical being beat what lies buried beneath the one
sole organ thats probably the only reason why we humans get to live. the constant beating
of the heart in hand with the warmth of the blood coursing through our veins reminds us
of how much we longed to be loved and how much we ourselves long to love. it reminds
us that we're no more than just creatures who age as time passes and eventually die,
creatures who never could beat the lightning speed of superman nor lift something as
heavy as hulk could. we're definitely not machines with no feelings, nor mutants with
supernatural power. we're merely what we call humans. the weakness we posses that
never fails to disappoint us. the fears that resides in us that never fails to keep us ashore.
and the tears filled with genuine feelings that never fails to fall when you lose someone special.

i miss the kisses, i miss the hugs. as absurd it sounds, i even miss spoiling you by always
giving in to you. with that sincere and pure voice of yours which never failed to brighten
me up. i remember how at times when you try to pacify me with me getting angry and
you felt you never seem to succeed. but deep down, i was melted - completely.
i really loved those times. sadly it never lasted though. it all came hitting back to me
yesterday when this friend of mine actually celebrated his four years anniversary.
marvellous i thought and never did he realise how much envy i had for him.

if we could even last one year.

but neither do i want back the same mistakes i made. its all driving me up the wall.
everything. even the loud ticking of the clock trips me out, i feel i am already ceasing to
exist. like i said, i'm just a fool for another day. but at least i do know how my heart feels.
despite all the tries to forget about the past months. i realise how much i still love you.
till the extent more than words itself can even describe. if need be, id rid the world just
to have you. thats how selfish youve made me become.

nevertheless, i guess i'm pretty much over the fact of not being able to have what i want.
although i'd rather the soft whispers in my ears and the warm cuddly hugs to the
ordinary of the ordinary. then again, no one said it was illegal to have fantasies.

and once im done fantasizing, ill be back to my old and boring lifestyle. who knows, an
angel could be near. of course, only this time im definitely not placing any bets on it. time will tell.

______________________________________________________________________

and this other one..

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil,
"Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget,
and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself
to be held in Someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time,
but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."

"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box
with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget.
Continue the race with a strong heart, my friend.

______________________________________________________________________

see what i mean?
i think sometimes, unexpectedly,
i just delve into a state of emotion thats really unexplainable.

cos i'm almost always smiley-ish and shit...
its just weiiird.

______________________________________________________________________

everything is just werid today.
i had a stranger.
a total stranger by the way,
smile at me, came up to me, and shook my hand in the "i'm a cool guy way"
and said "see you!", leaving me puzzled at the school bus stop.

WHAT WAS THAT LA?!

and char msged me to look at the full moon just when i was at my balcony
looking at the same thing.

plus...
jacjac was complaining to me about how mcdelivery takes a zillion years to reach
when the topic suddenly took a detour to how male cows are called bulls
and the female ones are cows.
but i dont think cows and bulls are from the same family.

and wether male cows have "udders"
which i think are the nipple-ish things where you squeeze the milk from.

total weirdness.
total total total
like totally.

urgh.

the totally late post.

2006-07-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

lovely.

2006-06-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

L.O.V.E

2006-06-26T05:58:00.000+08:00

i got so so so bored
i actually decided to go on blogs and friendster and stuff
just so i can grab people's pictures and edit them.
i love the people in the pictures :)
a big thanks to those whose pictures i used.
anyway, here's some!

now all i need to do is complete my 4 paged med soc assignment.
the assignment is due in like 5hours.
and i'm currently at lucky page number two after quite afew hours.

mood of the day.

2006-06-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

2006-06-16T08:17:00.000+08:00

i am totally zonked out.
after a bus ride from town all the way to tampines
which took around an hour ++ and another 15mins ride home
i'm really surprised that i didnt walk up and down the bus
for like a freaking 10million times..

i'm partially grateful to the lovely music
on my shuffle. hahaha.

chocolate banana prata was good.
company was nice.
the talking part was even better.

i like...whats her face?
Natalie? and mr kinky smile of a Scott?
and of course, Charmaine.
my one true love eh? hahahahaha.

the door bitch at butter was being such a door bitch
i almost couldnt get in.
she was such a freaking cb kay.
if not for her indian friend who praised me for memorising like
every bit of info on a mark christopher yeo soon huat's i/c,
i dont think i'd have enjoyed any bit of yesterday night at all.

and i cant believe bryan didnt...
tsk.

anyways.
sg idol was quite okay cos we got "upgraded" to front row seats
where all the crazy family and friends of joakim gomez were supposed to be at
and seeing the cameras in action was amazing.
i hope i get to like work in the control room during a studio production
and be in charge of the transitions and stuff.
or or or! i can always be the floor manager!
it seems really really fun.

and now.
i really need to sleep.
please go out with me later?
syidah? shikin? nananisah? asroids?
like all of you?

2006-06-15T08:59:00.000+08:00

hoooohaaaaaaaaa
omg 5.45 at novena.
how can i like reach there on time!?

novena sounds more like a 6.25
and certainly not a 5.45!

anyway. sg idol later!
i cant wait to see the lights and cameras
and all those nifty gadgets they use
to control everything in the studio.
the last time i was over at mediacorp was like.. last year or something
which is like eons ago.

switches and buttons
and flashing lights
cameras and more cameras
and people people people!
i hope we get to go like behind the scenes as well
but that most probably wont happen.

and i'll try to get joakim guy to like
errr..... kiss a napkin or something
and i'll pass it to you eh Asri? you weirdofcuk.
i WILL NOT beg for his autograph like you want me to.

and i neeeeeeeeeeeed an ic to come my way.
this is like turning into an addiction
stop it charmaine! you're the main influence..
stop tempting me to club club club!
but whats it to you without me eh? HAHAHA.

oh. my only love in life is photoshop.
everyone should just give some photoshop lovin like...now!
its cooooooool. just look at this.

skip this entry. emofuck

2006-06-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

i think its true what charmaine said
no one can really comprehend me like perfectly fine.
not even the closest of friends.
thats what ms yati said to me once
when she sat me down and talked to me face to face last time.

i'm not a person who will easily talk about how i feel
about anything in general
like i wont just sit down at the beach and
tell even my best friend(s) like how i really feel about everything.

which is why its hard to know what i'm thinking
and in a way, feeling.
cos i'm usually smiley and shit.

ms yati was the one and only teacher i was really close to.
and for some reason, she understood. sort of.

remember the post motivation-talk period where
the whole of four-i would have ms yati motivational talk sessions
the ones in class...
when we had to reflect and stuff to keep ourselves on the "right path"
and like everyone would like tear/cry and stuff?
not really everyone, just a few of us..
i miss those times.

and when ms yati asked me to stay back
and she said what she said. it like totally came as a shock
cos no one ever said that to me before.
and yah. she said something like
"i dont even think your closest friends know whats happening inside"

and what she said was worse than like
anything ever cos i never really thought about it.
until now. hahaha.

papillon by secret garden is repeating for the
288th time on itunes and i think thats why.

i miss ms yati. i miss "the gang".
i miss everything emo-ish that we used to do.
i miss tms.

fuck la. i need a super close friend.

a super super superman/wonderwoman of a close friend
someone i can talk to everyday.
in school. outside school. about anything.
everything.

maybe i expect too much out of a bestfriend.
i think i always have.

andithinkitsagoodthingthatnotalotofpeopleactuallyreadmybloghahaamorediscreetblogmakesabetter
placetotypedownshitlikethisstupidthingsthatidonttalktoanyoneabout

2006-06-11T17:53:00.000+08:00

i think i should be formal-ish casual tmrw
its a day where everyone should dress to kill.
DRESS TO KILL!

I DONT WANT TO SEE GUYS IN SLIPPERS
AND GIRLS IN SHORTS OKAY!
unless its hot pants
hahahahahahaha.

yay!!
i soo can't wait.

rainy days are so damn nice.
cos i usually wake up late.
like how i JUST woke up. haha.

the parents went off to johor
to send curly boy home. :(

i'm bored.
and papillon is playing for the 180th time on itunes.

2006-06-11T04:26:00.000+08:00

I wish i was at dxo for the lifestyle party thing with my sa lovers.. :D
dancing my life away sounds much better than just
sleeping it off.

i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY
looking forward to butter factory.
it better be great, if not, fantabulous!
better be...........

oh oh!
shikinyce.. i need the details of that mos thing.
fast okay. i need to book myself for that day.
haha.

my totally racial harmony group,
shona, jaclyn, rachel, charmaine.....
we have to go out soooon.

and 4i gathering tomorrow.
i'm really super duper really looking forward to it.
i kinda miss everyone
from blur cock of a jason
to the other blur cock of a sheng yuan
to the can't close her mouth of a cheryl
to the obese thing of a marissa.
and the list goes on and on and on.

EVERYONE OF YOU!
BETTER GO OKAY!!!

four islam/intimacy/irresistable
the memories are like never ending.
i want to live through them once again
make me younger make me younger!!!

2006-06-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

hahahahahaha.
keisha. keisha. k k keisha! :D
musa and vk should just get married la.

i feel so high on the sad mood now
thanks to the song from amelia's item.
Papillon by Secret Garden
its such a sad sad "makes me sad" kind of song,
you cant miss it.

charlottttte
i love you so so much.
so much so that i have to post up this pic okay.
hahahahahahaha.

2006-06-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

i'm not even halfway through journalism
in fact, i'm only on the 2nd lect
and there's like 10 more to go.
fuck journ. i feel like scrubbing HIM till he's white.
AGAIN.

oh. and at this crucial studying period
i'm suddenly thinking of male clubbers.
what the fuck is with wearing long sleeve shirts?!
i know its presentable and all but isnt it like hot?
its like macham a god said thing that you must wear it kind of trend.

why bother getting all hot and sweaty in those shirts
when everyone knows a vneck white tee
has the same "photohop/makes me hotter" effect

HAHAHAHA.
no charmaine. just an example okay.
keep your panties on. copyright shona

oh. and i'm starting to like my dance item.
i hope it turns out fine or rather, superb. soooon.

and i wish i'm back in temasek.
all those happy times. i sort of miss too much.

photos hop.

2006-06-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

i think photoshop has its pros and cons.
i mean. i'm grateful for it obviously :)
goodbye shiny tzones and pimples and eyebags
and anything unglam.
an exmple of it i shall show.

you see, normal people who come across this picture
will think, "well... there's nothing wrong here whattt"

but those who've experienced the wonders of photoshop,
or in this case, those who actually have SIBLINGS who learn about the software in school,
will have their hands itchy to get the picture edited.
like, "get those ewwish looking lines off my face" kind of thing?
"and make me look sexier while you're at it!"
so they'd look something like....

sorry chioubu of a sister.
my fingers were itchy to blog about you.
see! i miss you so much. i did one whole post on you :D

but then,
photoshop = pretty pictures
photoshop = no ugly faces
no ugly faces = no fun on friendster/blogs

HOW NOW?!?! HOW TO LIVE LIKE THIS?!

2006-06-03T14:17:00.000+08:00

its been so long.
so many things have happened.
every single day is like a replay of Days of Our Lives.
nothing ever slows down.
everything happens in an instant and nothing ever stops.

i've been tilted to one side lately,
i need to get back on track.
be on the neutral side. again.
heh.

i've found great friends
yet i hope the old ones remain
and not even one day will come
when i'll have none.

i need someone to know
just to hear me out
and understand.

like how we used to be so open
discussing anything thats fucked up
at the beach, in classes
and anywhere we were.

suddenly school doesnt feel like it anymore.
maybe, its me,
maybe, i'm just...

now i wish i'd get to know everyone better, faster.

My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.

on hiatus. for now.

2006-05-10T03:23:00.001+08:00

i'll be back to update in ahwile.
i have really really interesting stuff! heh heh... :D

there's always something in the way...

2006-05-06T03:21:00.000+08:00

Ohmygock!
that's soooo over-rated now... really.

and herzi,
for whatever reason that made you think
i got inspired to repeat that to my oh-so-darling friends,
it wasn't because i heard an "ohmygawd!" shriek coming
from you aiggggghhhhhhhhhhht.
urgh.

for those of you who think i like saying ohmygock! for the
joy of it all, it really isn't because of that.

wtf.
who would enjoy saying that?!
its effing irritating la.

it's really actually because i have a thing for self-irritation...
the feeling i experience from constant
self-irritation is superbly orgasmic.
therefore, i like it. :)
and i have to emphasize the self in self-irritation cos
i get annoyed by stupid people trying to irritate others.

----------------------------------------------

i like my class.
i think most of us can click pretty well with each other.
and i love my monkman too! :D hahahahahaha.

everything has been pretty fun in school.
constant gossiping and ramblings
about people, lecturers and all.

the class is never boring la
what with bryan's bitchy side
and beezer's emoself and stuff..
can't wait to get to know them more!

----------------------------------------------

i dont think i'm always happycheeryhappyhappy. :(
i'm not gay. (pun intended)

it scares me to think,
that you could find takers,
other than me.

i worry i won't see your face..

2006-05-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

i'm really really really too pissed off with my comp
to even write a post long enough to keep
everyone entertained.

i'm gonna wait till i get my laptop
then i can finally talk my heart out on msn
and post all the nonsensical stuff that has been going on

in the meantime,
i'm just gonna post some pics here
to cover for my "absence". heh.

oh wait. i met someone nice whom i think i've seen before who's really nice..
hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho.
who knew surprises could be this good.

i think..
sometimes, i sound like a freaking stalker cikopek shit
when i don't mean to.
and i tend to scare people off.

you and i collide.

(♥ corinne chow m.i.a)

2006-04-12T15:52:00.000+08:00

oh god.
my own mom is driving me INSANE.
insane, bonkers, nuts, agitated, irritated. you name it, she makes it all happen.

she scolded me and gave me the cold shoulder
just because i used the steamer
instead of the plain ol' iron.

her reason?
the steamer uses steam, therefore uses much more current
compared to the iron. and since i dont help with the bills,
i shouldn't use the steamer so as not to waste electricity.

what the $#&% of a reasoning is that?!
like hello?!
the iron we have uses water to be turned to steam
to iron clothes too!!!!!

i cant take this anymore.
god. tolong saya. bantu saya.

she turns small puny things into
BIG HUMONGOUS PROBLEMS.

---------------------------------------

anyway,
when i was small,
i thought aunt agony solved acne related problems.
pfft.

and to think i used to laugh to myself whenever i came across
"dear aunt agony"

i've been totally cheated of my feelings.
----------------------------------------

in other news,
i have been really really really lazy.
worse than anything you can think of.

i can sleep from evening to morning to evening
and still feel sleepy
waking up just to eat, drink, go online
and i can just doze off right here infront of my lcd.

i am too lazy to resize and edit anymore pictures.
i couldnt be bothered to update my blog.

MY BLOG IS A BORING MAZE OF WORDS.

for now that is.

i only wake up when the sister wants to go out.
sister going out = shopping.
therefore, i'm not lazy to follow the sister around.

in fact i love it.
i love/lurbe/heart my darling sister.

i think only she can make me get out of bed,
into the bathroom,
and out of the house.

Allah selamatkan kamu rozaleen abdul rahman.
loosely translates to God protect you rozaleen abdul rahman.

thanks chow!Wow.

2006-03-27T02:54:00.000+08:00

Bolded ones are those that applies to me:

i don't watch tv these days.

i own lots of books.

i wear glasses or contact lenses.

i love to play video games.

i've tried marijuana.

i have been in a threesome. (sure. grinding each other in a club)

i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (yah. like what relationship?)

i believe honesty is usually the best policy. (nahhh. i prefer to lie for the greater good..)

i curse sometimes.

i have changed mentally a lot over the last year.

i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

i'm TOTALLY smart.

i've broken someone's bones.

i'm paranoid sometimes. (sometimes might just be the understatement of the year.)

i'd get plastic surgery if it was 100% safe, scar and cost-free. (who wouldnt?!)

i need money right now.

i love sushi. (i almost puked the first and last time i tried it.)

i talk really, really fast. (when i'm trying to hide something :D)

i have long hair. (i've been pretending to have it all my life.)

i have lost money in Las Vegas.

i have at least one sibling.

i have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (i use dance as an excuse :D)

i couldn't survive without caller id. (i still can't actually)

i am usually pessimistic.

i have a lot of mood swings. (alot, isnt possibly the most exact word to use)

i have a hidden talent. (HAHAHA)

i'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.

i have a lot of friends. (that doesn't include the aunties and nyonyas)

i am currently single. (currently? more like always/constantly?)

i have pecked someone of the same sex. (pecked is just a minor description of it)

i enjoy talking on the phone.

i practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (my balls can breathe in them!!)

i love to shop.

i enjoy window shopping. (with a select few)

i would rather shop than eat.

i don't hate anyone. i abhore them.

i'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.

i have a cell phone.

i watch mtv on a daily basis.

i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

i've rejected someone before. (a stalker to be exact)

i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

i want to have children in the future. (a bachelor with children maybe?)

i have changed a diaper before.

i've called the cops on a friend before.

i'm not allergic to anything.

i have a lot to learn.

i have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.

i am shy around the opposite sex. (definitely! HAHAHA)

i have tried alcohol before.

i have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.

i own the "South Park" movie.

i would die for my best friends. (thats just plain stupid.)

i think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

i have used my sexuality to advance my career.

i love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.

halloween is awesome because you get free candy.

i watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.

i have dated a close friend's ex.

i am happy at this moment!

i'm obsessed with guys.

i am punk rockish.

i am preppy.

i study for tests most of the time.

i tie my shoelaces differently from anyone else i've ever met. (mine is in a dysfunctional random order)

i can work on a car.

i love my job.

i am comfortable with who i am right now.

i have more than just my ears pierced.

i walk barefoot whenever i can. (eeeew. try the public toilets then.)

i have jumped off a bridge.

i love sea turtles.

i spend ridiculous money on makeup.

i plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

i'm proficient in a musical instrument.

i worked at McDonald's restaurant.

i hate office jobs.

i love sci-fi movies.

i think water rules.

i went college out of state.

i like sausages.

i love kisses.

i fall for the worst people. (judged on a case-by case basis)

i adore bright colours.

i can't live without black eyeliner.

i don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.

i usually like covers better than originals.

i can pick things up with my toes.

i can't whistle.

i can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.

i have ridden/owned a horse.

i still have every journal i've ever written in. (and they are allll incomplete)

i can't stick to a diet.

i talk in my sleep.

i try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.

climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.

i have jazz in my blood.

i wear a toe ring.

i have a tattoo.

i can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.

i am a tea junkie.

i cosplay or know what cosplaying is.

i have been to over 15 conventions.

i will collect anything, the more nonsensical, the better.

i'm an artist. (of course i am! haha)

i only clean my room when necessary. (my room is a place of freedom of creativity. hah)

i like a person of the same sex. (more like people. i like the opposite sex too!)

i love being happy. (being happy all the time is sooooo boring)

hookypooky

2006-03-26T04:08:00.001+08:00

my mom is a hooker!
she hoooked me on the second season of The OC!
make that part of it.
which equates to 12 episodes of it in the middle of the night!
gee.

seth obviously still does like summer,
who's now in a relationship with weird dorky guy i forgot his name
but i think summer still has feelings for seth too
which is heart awwwwing for me.

and marissa is with alex (a girl)
which is just plain wrong.
i still do think gay(men) couples look more convincing,
passionate about each other,
and better yet, sweet!
compared to lesbian couples.

and i think.
ryan might still have feelings for marissa.
which in conclusion of this all,
they should get back together in my opinion.

happy. happy. happy.
happy endings make me happy.

seth not getting back with the girl he's still secretly in love with
who's now with another guy,
JUST MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF.
for obvious reasons of course :) heh.

its amazing how tv shows can just breakdown
the egoism of MANkind.
by mankind i meant, me of course.

whats worst off is that,
collide by howie day on repeat doesn't help at all.

i'm tangled up in you.

2006-03-23T05:44:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA.
i swear i'm sooo bored.
and restless.

I HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO
for the past month,
and add one more month to that till term starts for me.

therefore,
i've been meddling with photoshop again!
and lookie look look!

instant tanning for corinne.
super doll like unrecognisable features gone wrong for Amelia.
and xiaoNiu.
and jilyng.
and ewwwwwwwwwwwwwish me :D

DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH OKAY.

2006-03-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

goodness.
i am quite amazed by my mom.

did you know?
she never had any other boyfriend
apart from my dad?!

now that's real commitment.

despite having a body of a stick insect,
and having the face of a skinny ass supermodel,
with tons of guys falling for her,
worshipping the ground that she graced,
dear mother never did hook up with any one of them.

until mr abdul rahman came
and swept her off her feet.

HAHAHA.
what a sweet old romantic story.

i spent my night (tonight)
learning how to airbrush things on photoshop.
actually, to achieve smooth looking doll-like faces in pictures.
and from that, i got a fake looking us. :)

oh.
and have i ever told anyone that i'm interested
to learn ballet?

REZA IS INTERESTED IN BALLET?!?!

yes yes. mock me behind my back
you group of unsupportive hunchbacks!

but seriously!
i want to be equipped with the
gracefulness and the technique thats unique to
ballet dancers! *gives the "i'm dreaming of something big" look*

like in this clip for example. (thanks chowWOW)

apart from that,
my absence from this site can be explained
in whole by the recent activities at twistedementia. *click me click me*

2006-03-14T07:00:00.000+08:00

I thought this was funnily stupid.
i forgot where i ripped it from though.
blog hopping is seriously addictive. :D

-------------------------------------

JC Jokes

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: 4 whole faculties. One fac to design the new bulb, one fac to test it out, one fac to market it and one guy to write a stupid Email about lightbulbs.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.....to compete with RJC.........

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.......one to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: NO LIGHT STILL CAN STUDY!!!!!

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs...

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change lightbulb??
A: None......they use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....only one teacher to tell them what a lightbulb is in the first place and to demonstrate (how do you think they're able to change it for AC?)

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They'd prefer it darker.......... (hmmm...*raise eyebrow*)......

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None......Their physics is so bad that they make the male teacher cry.....

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Would they bother??

Q: How many MJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.They're too busy studying. trying not to get expelled..

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Huh, wat litebarb ...

Q: How many IJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None. They're more worried about the about-to-drop-fans in the learning studios instead.

Q: How many MI students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. They think they are very bright already....

Sweet Scent-aur ;D

2006-03-14T05:33:00.000+08:00

hahaha.
i love you dear egyptian sister of mine!
i'm so excited,
i can't wait to pick you up!

till the 5th of april eh!?
heh heh.
till then,
i shall make a longer wishlist. :D
*the joy of having a lovely sister*

anyway.
i was bloghopping as usual.
and i found something that tickled me.
every part of me.
i couldn't stop laughing la.

here's the post.

---------------------------------------

choke, medical checkup

morning, drink water.. kena sumting sharp
stuck in my throat.. ( T _ T )

(''0 o 0''') i was shocked and duno wat to do!
wats tat?! fishbone?! cant take out hw?!
i cried 4 help mama, sis, crazy dog all crowd around me,

mama so shocked, 'hah???!!! wat happen?!!!?? choke arh?!!?'

sis, 'jus drink more water and swallow it!'

crazy dog, 'hah? wat happen? the bottle nvr wash clean arh?'

three different reactions, ha. in the end, follow my sis advice, relief..

i was so shocked and cry.. wat a suai morning..
its the 'thing' my mama use it to clean the bottle stuck in my bottle,
nvr take out.. so sharp.. really lyk fishbone, ha

den go medical checkup. 1st. xray. need to take off my clothes and bra,
change to a big jumpsuit, felt so insecure u koe!

den eyesight test, colour vision test,
height and weight, den urine..

she give me a sum kind lyk a litmus paper
and ask me go shhshh and pass through the paper..

blur???? hw to pass through it?! den haha, i aim properly lor,
success, luckily my shhshh a lot, gt more chance to aim properly

den now the blood pressure test.. 2 times,
'girl, ur blood pressure is so low u koe, did u ate breakfast?'

of cos gt la, 3 breads and a big cup of milk leh, auntie!

and u koe she ask me wat 2 do? 'u go walk fast fast back
and forth from the end of the clinic to the other end and cum
back', damn long u koe the distance

siao bo! the clinic so many pple u koe! wait pple tink i siao arh?!

so my clever decision. i went to the quiet staircase and ran
up and dwn umpteen times. my sis stood there and watched me
went back.

'not bad! improve!' and its 90.. aee.. low hor

den the doctor told me, ' gal, u must eat
more, u koe, eat more vegetables, fruits, and fish! fish is good 4 u.. u can
watch tv and eat potatoes chips u koe, can drink sprite
oso.., chocolates! oso not bad arh.'

wat a doctor?! ok, ht, 159, wt 37.4, BMI 14.7

haha... thinking of her advice.. but i really dun dare to eat so much...

---------------------------------------

omg.
her spelling for "know" is so screwed up!
that its not even "knw" or "knoe" or "noe".

its freaking "koe" !!?!?!
HAHAHA.

and the urine test part.
freaking hilarious la!!!!

---------------------------------------

i am so not looking forward to my medical check up already.
what with the freaking shhshh test,
having to aim properly.
hahaha.

goodnesss.
enrolment letter.
where art thou?! :(

2006-03-11T03:17:00.000+08:00

i have so many wants as of now.
my wanted list is soooo long,
if it was a dick,
it'll poke you and re-appear at the openning
of your mouth!

HAHA. good analogy there.
is that even an analogy to begin with?!

anyway,
BIG HINT TO THE SISTER AT EGYPT HERE***

(click on the pictures!)

#1 on my list would definitely be..........

a MacBook Pro.
all 15.4" of it.
(i'd love anyone who gets it for me forever!)

#2 - to farhana's parents.
PLEASE do get her this. A.S.A.P.
(she needs it!)

i'll update with more things from my wishlist!
i need to take more pictures of them!
HOHOHOHO!!

mooooseeeeyyy

2006-03-11T03:03:00.000+08:00

okay.
here's a post dedicated
solely to musa's nicknames. :))
hahaha. his smiley has a double chin....

musang (fox in malay)
misai (moustache in malay)
samusang
samosa(a type of kueh)
mosa(murderer in chinese)
samu(muthusami's friend)
miusa

ohwell.
it was funny at that instance.
for like 10minutes.

Jilyn Tea Cup :D:D:D:D:D:D

2006-03-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to

Ah Mah
SuperStar
Jilyn

Happeee 18th Birfday to Euuuuuuu!

HAHAHAHA.

Enjoy Being Legal.
Enjoy it.
Really.
:(

corinne chow my lovely liitle miss fishball <3

2006-03-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to
CORINNE CHOW
aka dancingupastorm,

happy birthday to you!!!

HAPPY HAPPY BEING LEGAL. :D
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY 18

and you're old for that matter..heh.

the early morning syndrome

2006-03-05T03:25:00.000+08:00

my account on the comp is %$#!!?* screwed la.
which means i cant post nice pictures
because i cant even upload them into my own folders.
and now i'm stuck in my sister's account
since everything here works perfectly fine.

please go away you BUGger. hahaha.
okay lame.

anyway.
i'm officially out of sa.
since 3rd of march 2006.
it was such a freaky friday.
sad sad day it was.

thanks to everyone who made my stay in SA superb!
including weirdos like corrine wong, jilyn chow, charlote tee, etc.
bitching partners like muser, amsani, etc.
even people whom i smiled at randomly! like baldwin, the security guard, etc.
and of course. 06s24, MCS, og27 and SAJCDanceSociety. :D

pictures coming up reallllll sooooooon.
loads of them to post up.

-----------------------------------

is anyone else,
apart from raudah, kelvin, sheng yuan, charmaine, munah, karmila and lubna
going to tp!?

TP people. please do tag.
especially those in communications and media management.

i dont want to be alone and insecure when term starts.
i dont like not knowing anyone.

------------------------------------

corinne chow just went offline.

sorry i kept you up so late.
i was too engrossed talking to you
that i didnt even notice its 3.30am!

how i wish SA was a public institute
where visitors can just walk in and out
and participate and be apart of the ccas there
without having to be a student of the school!

then i'd still have a chance to give frequent surprise visits
to the fruit stall and roti prata aunties!
and of course,
join the dancers and be happy dancing and doing crazy things
with the girls. and guy(s).

oh! and the eyecandies.
you wouldnt believe your ears if you heard me rattling off
who they are.
hahaha.

Musa!
party at whynot!
i can imagine the dancers in there creating havoc. hahaha.
and mrs lim will make another announcement to the whole school
about dancers bringing shame to the school by wearing their sch uni
in such a place. heh.

------------------------------------

i think term starts on the 24th of April.
which is a freaking long way to go.
and i ahve absolutely nothing to do till then!

except maybe i can rot my butt on this chair
trying to figure out how to pretty-cise my lj.
i'm trying to make it a photo blog thingy.
the idea is cool.
thanks cocochow.

help anyone?
make my lj photo journal dream come true.

i swear i'm plain lazy these days.
i can sleep for 12hours straight and still laze around the house
and think its normal.
tsk tsk.
somebody spank me please.

------------------------------------

and please.
if you guys tag.
insert your REAL name.
unless i already know who you are.
eg. charmystique

apart from them,
people with names like anon or secret admirer,
it doesnt really work for me.
i'd rather know who you are.

because then, if i really dont know who you are,
we can get to know each other!
and i can have a new friend!
which is quite exciting. :D

------------------------------------

your history is mine.

our prayer at the back, i cant forget.

2006-02-26T17:02:00.000+08:00

i'm soooo soooo soooo happy.
i'll be seating on one of the seats,
with my videocam ready, wearing green and white.
cheering my lungs out for you guys. :D

ps: please remember to give me a vip ticket or something.
hahahahaha.

Saint-Sation
1st of April.
University Cultural Centre.
MARK THAT DOWN ON YOUR CALENDER.

thanks to everyone who supported us in one way or another.
thanks for the 4 huge and lovely sunflowers. :D
thanks for the opportunity to be able to dance with great great people.
thanks for taking the effort to learn my preferred genre of dance.
thanks.
thanks.
thank you.
all of you.